Can you be GAY and CHRISTIAN?

The words "gay" and "Christian" are not often used in the same sentence. If they are, it’s not usually in a positive light. References in the Bible have suggested that homosexuality is a sin and there are some die-hard Christians who won’t let anyone forget this. We’ve seen them chanting homophobic slurs and holding up offensive placards at Mardi Gras parades, town halls, even at funerals and weddings, all with the intention to discriminate and shame those who give in to their ‘temptations’!

Hateful speech disguised under the language of salvation has reined church services that are entirely dedicated to condemn homosexuality. Yet isn’t this intolerant behavior a sin itself, more so than whom a person loves? Does it not defy the essence of God, who is an all-mighty being of unconditional love and acceptance?

Perhaps those references in the Bible has been misinterpreted and taken out of context. Besides, are we really supposed to literally take in everything the Bible says to heart? After all, the Bible was not actually written by God, but rather by his followers and their interpretation of his word.

Of course there are varying degrees of acceptance amongst Christian groups. There are some that completely accept homosexuality while there are others that have placed idealized conditions upon it. For example, Dr. Michael Brown, president of the FIRE School of Ministry and director of the Coalition of Conscience, believes that it’s possible to have same sex attractions but it mustn’t be acted upon if you want to be considered a true Christian. However if you do practice homosexual acts, then it’s impossible to follow Jesus and therefore you are not a true Christian.

The basic notion is that being gay is not a choice, but RESPONDING to gay feelings is.

This ideology is reflected in TLC’s upcoming TV series ‘My Husband’s Not Gay’ which follows married Mormon men who are attracted to men. Each of them is in a committed and monogamous relationship with a woman. Although they do have same sex attractions, they insist that they are not gay and can overcome these feelings with their faith in God.

The show has been met with controversy by LGBT groups who claim the narrative of "gay but not gay" is an irresponsible and dangerous practice because it promotes denying one’s sexuality in favor of glorified, outdated doctrines. Christian groups have also raised their concerns by suggesting these men are completely immoral and therefore not deserving of God’s love and will be going straight to hell.

Ultimately these views serve to highlight the oversimplification of sexuality as either gay or straight, when reality tells us it is much more fluid than that. Perhaps these men are not gay, but bisexual? Surely if one is to believe that Jesus walked on water, than one can at least entertain the idea of somebody desiring both a man and woman?

You only need to take a stroll through any major city in the world to understand that we cannot compartmentalize people as either gay or straight. There are people who identify as bisexual, asexual, transsexual, transgender or queer, which are terms that extend beyond the normal binaries of orientation. Are they all destined for abomination? Is God punishing them? Or are they being punished by a society with prehistoric ideas of individualism and spiritualty?

Still the question remains - can you be Christian and gay? Is it possible for two identities at seemingly opposing ends of the spectrum to thrive harmoniously?

We must remember that before we start clinging and conditioning ourselves to any identity through gender, race, religion or social status, we are ALL human beings first. As human beings, the core of our existence is dependent on values that are also modeled in the Christian faith. These values include tolerance, love and acceptance.

So the answer is yes - you can be Christian and gay! You needn’t separate your faith from your being for they both make up whom you are.

Many may argue that thousands of years of Biblical principles cannot be wrong. But come on! Anybody can take a passage from the Bible and misconstrue it to validate any argument. Besides, the Bible reflected the culture of that time and during that time levirate marriages (where a man can take his dead brother’s wife and produce children) and polygamy were also the conventional norm. In today’s mainstream culture, even within the realm of Christianity, these lifestyles aren’t perpetuated, let alone accepted. Why? Because it’s not relevant to us! Times have changed!

If we were to obey and accept every Biblical reading as moral guidance, than we’d still have slavery, our children would be sacrificed, men would have short hair and not shave, women would be silent and the world would still be considered flat.

Now we all know the world is round! We also know the world is much bigger than we once thought and it’s full of things that we are still struggling to understand despite humanity’s spiritual and scientific maturity. Gay people exist and so do Christians – it shouldn’t be about accepting or ‘choosing’ one lifestyle over the other. When we start outlawing and restricting people we are only going backwards. True believers will love their fellow Christians no matter what and encourage their faith so that we can move forward to create a world that’s peaceful and loving, which is ultimately God’s wish for us.

Gay christians

Welcome to gay Christians, an Internet network of affirmative and supportive chat channels. Our "membership" draws support from a great variety of faith traditions, and our strength lies in such diversity. We affirm God's acceptance and love of all people, regardless of their sexual or affectional orientation.

GAY..... What does it mean to be gay?

What does being gay mean to you? What is your reaction to each of the following statements?

1. Being gay is having the capability to love a member of the same sex to a much greater depth than a member of the opposite sex.

2. Being gay is a matter of love, not a matter of sex.

3. Being gay is who you are, not what you do.

4. Being gay is part of you, not a separate entity.

5. Being gay is OK -- the sin is living a lie.

6. Being gay is not chosen, if it were, there would be no gays.

7. Being gay is to be ridiculed about something you can do nothing about.

8. Being gay is not changeable -- but it is liveable.

9. Being gay is accepting yourself when others are not accepting of you.

10. Being gay is being who you are -- even though you don't understand it.

11. Being gay is gentleness, warmth and sensitivity, when you are not at war with the outside world.

12. Being gay is different, and the definition of different is not "bad."

13. Being gay is reaching the autumn of your years and wondering why you have spent most of your life trying to get acceptance from people who don't know you and who don't understand you.

14. Being gay is YOU -- and nothing in this world is more important than that.

Women seeking women is not taboo in this day and age. Online dating sites like Girlfriends Meet accept you regardless of your sexual orientation or spiritual beliefs.

For some dating tips, or to find your gay sole-mate visit the gay dating section of the cupid's reviews, the #1 gay dating review site on the net!

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  Key Contributors: Claude Alexander, Os Guinness, Russell Moore, Rod Dreher, Stanley Carlson-Thies, Dee Allsop.

• Episode 004 The Gay Conversation | Ministry: How Should The Church Move Forward?
  

  Many people who identify as gay have had a poor experience in their local church. In this episode we discuss the term ?gay Christian?, the science behind the ?born this way? theory and practical ways the church can be a more welcoming place in general. In addition, we will hear personal reflections from Christians who experience same-sex attractions yet choose to live a celibate life. We?ll also learn hear how the Church can fulfill relational longings that go beyond sexual expression.

  Key Contributors: Tim Keller, Justin Lee, Eve Tushnet, Mark Yarhouse, Christopher Yuan, Ann Voskamp, Annie Downs.

• Episode 003 The Gay Conversation | Relationships: How Do I Love and Support My Gay Friends?
  

  Most people today have a personal friend who identifies as gay. For some Christians, this can create unique tensions and dilemmas about how to best support and love friends, family members and co-workers well, even while holding to the historic Christian position. In this episode we hear practical wisdom on handling invitations to gay weddings, how to respond if your child?or parent?comes out, the limits of theology and what it means to truly display Christian love to someone with whom you may disagree. 

  Key Contributors: Jefferson Bethke, Russell Moore, Caleb Kaltenbach, Tim Keller.

• Episode 002 The Gay Conversation | Theology: Not What the Bible Says, But What it Means
  

  One?s theology will determine everything about how they engage the gay conversation. In this episode, the Christian view of identity, sexual ethics and historic belief about human flourishing comes under the microscope. We define terms and consider how historic Christian arguments interact with the newer, gay-affirming points of view. From Leviticus to Paul, we address Jesus? words around this topic and explore the Christian perspective on sexual design, gender difference and marriage.

  Key contributors: David Gushee, Wesley Hill, Tim Keller, Scot McKnight, Preston Sprinkle

• Episode 001 The Gay Conversation | Context: Owning Our History
  

  As our culture?s affirmation of gay sexuality grows, what does this mean for Christians and the Church? In this episode, we address why we created this series and the tensions that exist around the Church?s posture towards this conversation. David Kinnaman, President of the Barna Group and co-author of the forthcoming book, Good Faith, is one of several contributors giving insight on the latest research on Christians and extremism.

  Key Contributors: Debra Hirsch, David Kinnaman, Caleb Kaltenbach, Tim Keller, Julie Rodgers

• Episode 000 The Race Conversation | Race, Reconciliation and The Gospel
  

  "Implicit Racial Bias" refers to subconscious preferences for members of our own group. This silent and subtle tendency to "otherize" has loud and lasting effects, from perpetuating racial prejudices inside society to reinforcing personal hidden biases.